Valentines 2024: An Open Love Letter To This New Arizona Life

After calling this desert world home for about two months, I figured it was time to take a moment and reflect on my time here thus far. I suppose this will be a bit of an open love letter. Maybe kind of sappy. I don’t care, it’s Valentines Day, the perfect day to do this.

In all my life there have been just a small number of places on this planet that have felt spiritually right for me. And by that I mean I feel fully tapped into the vibrations of those places and they feel natural. Vibes that seem to match my vibes. I find peace and passion when my vibes connect to the vibes of a place. When Jon and I both feel that for a place, we allow the feelings to consume us a bit. Basically, these feelings inform where my family calls home.

For a good two years, we did a lot of work to figure out if our heartbeats matched the heartbeat of Arizona… and in the last year, we had started really whittling down which smaller areas of Arizona felt right for us. Like, on a spiritual level.

The answer was super obvious and required almost no thought: the Tucson area. Southern Arizona. Deeper research, when we began to make this move real, revealed that Marana would likely be the perfect place for our family to call home. Just minutes from Saguaro West, Ironwood Forest National Monument and… so much else… we knew we’d found the right place to call home.

One of the most sacred places to me: Organ Pipe Cactus National Monument and the surrounding area.

The Sonoran Desert and it’s Sky Islands, with their biodiversity and harsh charm captivated me from the moment I laid eyes on a saguaro, an Arizona sycamore, a cactus wren. There are places in this world that resonate with us in ways that are hard to explain and for me, the Sonoran Desert is beyond words; it’s a part of the planet to be revered. And now that I’ve been here for a couple months? That reverence has sky-rocketed.

I don’t believe it’s possible to comprehend the biodiversity and abundance of life in the Sonoran Desert, in Arizona, without experiencing it with a great deal of time. Like with all majestic places, the gift of time allows nature to unravel secrets of place.

Prior to living in Arizona, I was beginning to feel great despair regarding the state of… a lot of things that matter to me, quite frankly. Things felt kind of bleak. And. Yeah. Ya know what? I’m going to go full-on love letter. Reader? This first bit was for you. The rest is for Arizona.

Dear Arizona,

You have been a place of tremendous passion and healing for me over the years. In my very darkest moments, your rocks and skies have made me feel that there is a higher power and that has given me something to pray to. It amazes me that many of my best moments have been here in Arizona, when very little of my time here on earth has been in Arizona. It says so much that that’s the case and I love you for it.

You have given me moments of wonder and awe that I was not prepared for, and leaving you in previous years, as I was heading home to the mountains I loved exclusively, I would find myself at odds with my heart, feeling pulled to stay in the desert.

I never stopped trying to figure out how to explore you further. Stay longer. See more. Until the day it felt like something had to give and a choice had to be made. I chose you.

You have shown me your nature. Your towns and your people and your cultures. And somehow you’ve also shown me that I have a place here. A place where I will be accepted and appreciated and make an impact. I have needed that so much and I am so honored to have it here. Embraced by you, I am in disbelief. Forever in gratitude.

I love you and I will do my best to delicately teach the world about you and everything you support. The life and the energy.

After two months here, I have whiplash. From the love and excitement. And I have hope. The things I’ve experienced so far show me that I’m meant to be here. And that’s a beautiful thing.

Thank you for being pink and orange and green and purple and red and all the other amazing colors you are. Thank you for your scents and sounds and extremes. You make me feel alive. So damn alive.

I’m so looking forward to my life here. It’s still feeling surreal.

In great love and gratitude,
DDR

The Shot & The Story: 20

It’s always a beautiful thing to capture wildlife images from home and I had the honor of capturing a lovely scene from my patio the other day. And that is what this S&S is all about!

It seems that my owl luck has changed with this move from the Rockies to the Sonoran Desert. I have spotted owls in numerous locations just a month into this new book of life, but the other day really stood out.

It was a lovely, sunny afternoon and I had just received a bird feeder and was outside trying to figure out where the heck to hang it. We don’t have many trees at our new home, as it is in a suburban setting. Quite the extreme contrast to our tiny home! Anyways, we have two trees; both in the front yard.

I thought one of those trees might work okay for my feeder and began to fiddle around with hanging it around the trunk, as the branches begin very high up! I was getting a little frustrated and paused what I was doing to reassess if the feeder would actually fit where I was trying to put it. I looked up and was absolutely dumbfounded to see this owl watching me.

I didn’t have my cameras with me, but thankfully I did have my phone. I quietly called Jon, who was inside working. When he picked up I asked him to bring out my 500mm and to be really careful and quiet because he’d need to walk right under an owl in our tree to hand it over. Within a minute he was handing me my camera; the owl seemed completely unbothered.

Jon and I spent a good 20 minutes with this owl, who was just hanging out. Not snoozy but not busy either. A Cooper’s hawk landed in the tree for a couple minutes at one point, which intrigued the owl, but didn’t change the chill attitude it had.

Eventually this owl did take off. I’m not sure to where, but Jon and I have heard it on several mornings hooting away in the dark up in our tree. I’m so grateful for the time I was able to spend making photos of this friend, and the photo I’ve shared here is one of my favorites from the set. I love it’s joyful colors and the expression of the owl. It’s simply a happy photo :)

If you’d like to read more in The Shot & The Story series, click here!

La Junta Tarantula Festival

In the town of La Junta, Colorado, a mysterious dance of nature unfolds each autumn, as Aphonopelma hentzi (commonly known as Texas or Oklahoma brown) tarantulas engage in their annual mating season.

As these enigmatic creatures embark on a quest for love, the town becomes a hub for both fascination and wonder. La Junta's Tarantula Festival not only celebrates the mating season but also serves as a crucial platform for wildlife conservation, shedding light on the limited knowledge we possess about tarantulas and the imperative need to protect them.

The Aphonopelma hentzi Mating Season

A. hentzi enters its mating season in the early fall months. Male tarantulas, driven by the instinct to reproduce, embark on a journey in search of potential mates. La Junta, with its unique ecological conditions along Comanche National Grassland, witnesses a captivating display of nature as these arachnids navigate the landscape in pursuit of a mate.

This is the one last quest of male A. hentzi, as he has stopped eating well before setting out and will likely lose his life during the mating process. Regardless, he will never eat again.

Males of this species tend to live rather short lives, of 2-5 years. Females on the other hand rarely leave their burrow over the span of their very long lives. Many females in this genus live 20-40 years! Yes- you read that right!

Comanche National Grassland provides the perfect biome for A. hentzi to thrive.

Tarantula Conservation Challenges:

1. Limited Scientific Knowledge: Despite their intriguing nature, tarantulas remain one of the least understood groups of arachnids. The mating behaviors, ecological roles, and overall life cycle of many tarantula species, including the Aphonopelma hentzi, are still shrouded in mystery. La Junta's Tarantula Festival serves as a platform to address this knowledge gap and encourages scientific exploration.

2. Habitat Threats: Urbanization and habitat destruction pose significant threats to tarantula populations. The festival draws attention to the importance of preserving the natural habitats where these creatures thrive, emphasizing the need for sustainable development practices.

3. Community Engagement: The festival actively involves the local community and visitors in conservation initiatives. By fostering a sense of responsibility and understanding, La Junta aims to create a community-driven approach to protecting tarantulas and their habitats. But how the heck do you get the community to be excited about tarantulas?!

Tarantula murals can be found all throughout La Junta’s downtown.

Celebrating Conservation:

1. Scientific Research Symposium: La Junta's Tarantula Festival hosts a scientific research symposium where experts share findings on tarantula behavior, ecology, and conservation efforts. This exchange of knowledge is crucial for advancing our understanding of these mysterious critters!

2. Conservation Workshops: Educational workshops at the festival focus on the importance of tarantula conservation. Attendees gain insights into the challenges faced by these creatures and how individual actions can contribute to their preservation.

3. Citizen Science Projects: La Junta encourages citizen science initiatives, empowering festival-goers to contribute to ongoing research efforts. By collecting data and observations, participants become active contributors to the understanding of tarantula biology.

A big issue where the conservation of these animals is concerned: road crossings. When I have attended Tarantula Fest and witnessed tarantula mating seasons, it’s astounding to watch drivers seemingly aim directly for tarantulas crossing the road. We simply must be better than those losers… to put it as frankly as possible.

La Junta's Tarantula Festival is not just a celebration of the Aphonopelma hentzi mating season but a beacon for wildlife conservation.

As we marvel at the mysterious courtship rituals of these tarantulas, let us also recognize the urgency to protect and preserve their habitats. Through scientific exploration, community engagement, and education, La Junta is leading the way in unraveling the secrets of tarantula life while advocating for their conservation.

The festival stands as a testament to our shared responsibility to safeguard the diversity of life on our planet, ensuring that Aphonopelma hentzi and other species of tarantula continue to thrive in the face of a changing world.

Tarantulas: misunderstood as heck.

Are you planning to attend Tarantula Fest in 2024? I promise you it’s a wonderful time!

It looks like Tarantula Fest 2024 will be September 27-28.

Adhering to the principles of Leave No Trace is crucial when encountering tarantulas in their natural habitats. When observing or interacting with these arachnids, it is essential to minimize your impact on the environment. Avoid disturbing their burrows or nests, as this can disrupt their natural behavior and habitat. Refrain from handling tarantulas unless absolutely necessary, as it can stress the creatures and potentially harm them. They are extremely fragile-bodied. Keep a respectful distance and use a camera to observe them from afar. Dispose of any trash or waste properly, ensuring it does not harm the ecosystem. By practicing Leave No Trace principles around tarantulas, we contribute to the preservation of their habitats and maintain the delicate balance of the natural world.

The Shot & The Story: 19

Happy 2024! This is the first shot & story of the new year and it’s one that I think is pretty cool.

Last week Jon went up to our San Juan Mountains home to grab the last few things we wanted down here in the desert. He had a very tight weather window to go up and get back down; a 24-hour time frame absolutely pushing the limit on what would likely be safe to drive in. He drove up there in good conditions. He went to bed knowing a storm was going to hit earlier than forecast. When he took off the next morning at 4am a lot of snow was on the ground and it was near white out conditions for almost four hours on the rural southwest roads we’ve come to know and steer clear of in winter.

Thankfully he got home after an exhausting 12 hours of pretty much nonstop driving. Wave one of the storm hit hard, but wave two hit harder. That was this week. And the system was so big it also hit all the way down here in Southern Arizona.

Creating one morning of splendorous, snowy mountain/saguaro magic.

I found the whole scene to be pretty surreal. Captivating and painterly and I was really surprised that I was lucky enough to witness it. It was a super cold morning (yes- actually very cold in the desert!) and I wasn’t sure if there would be snow or not when I set out. As the world started to lighten up it was like a grand reveal: snow!

If you’d like to read more in The Shot & The Story series, click here!

This Wild Life

For quite a few years now, I have done a monthly video podcast called Fox Talk. This podcast is just for my Patrons and it’s been a really cool experience taking the time to record it each month. When I began the show, I was working on my Red Fox Project and the show’s name made a lot of sense. My life was all foxes all the time. But over the years, as life has been lived, I have really wanted to change the name of my podcast to a name that reflects the show.

For 2024 I am excited to be rolling out my podcast’s new name: This Wild Life :)

This Wild Life perfectly captures what my little show is all about! Over the years I have gotten to know many of my patrons in real life and some have become friends, etc- so the show really has transformed into these casual chats about everything going on in life. Sometimes it’s exciting, sometimes it’s chaos and… well… you get the idea. It’s a good insight into my world as I work hard to live my dreams while advancing my photography career and athletic endeavors.

But of course there is always more to the story than dreams, work and sports! This Wild Life is a place for me to be real with people who care.

In 2024 I plan to do more as far as podcasting and video content goes for my crew, so be sure to check out all details if you’re interested in joining!

My patrons absolutely kick ass and have helped me to do so many things I would not have been able to do without them. They are a big part of my story. I’m always stoked when the crew grows.

It’s exciting to kick off the new year with this big name change for my show. It was a long time coming!

My Tarantulas: Meet The Girls

Over the past several years I have developed a real passion for tarantulas. Seeking them out, traveling to find various species, etc. It’s been really interesting and the more I have learned about these animals, the more I appreciate them and love them.

Aphonopelma Hentzi male on the move in September.

During some giant research rabbit-holes and connecting with the handful of experts there are on tarantulas in this country, I have learned a lot about how under-researched these animals are. It’s actually really wild and if you have interest in these spiders, google about them! You’ll quickly find that basically very little is known about any species of tarantula and that much of the science community relies on tarantula owners for information and even specimens. This all got me thinking…

I could probably handle raising tarantulas. And I would certainly love to see them on the daily. So I decided to begin an excellent adventure: tarantula husbandry.

The anatomy of a tarantula :)

My goal with this is to gather and care for captive bred species from the American Southwest, Mexico and eventually maybe other regions that I’m drawn to. I am most interested in the tarantulas I could (and have) encountered in the wild places I explore. That way I can learn about them in a bigger way, champion their conservation and hopefully do some good for the species and for science communities.

So I acquired some tarantulas! And I’m going to tell you a bit about em :) And you know what? Just for the thrill of it, I’m gonna anthropomorphize the heck out them. I’ll likely always do this with spiders, as it creates a relationship between animal and human that is nearly impossible to do any other way with animals folks think are scary or gross. They’re just cute little critters!

Nutmeg: Aphonopelma moderatum/Rio Grande Gold
Generally speaking, Nutmeg is a very nice little lady. She dug a massive burrow right away and I have yet to see her come out of it. But! I am very lucky because she dug the main chamber against the side of her enclosure. Sometimes she’s super busy, often times she is just chillin. Nutmeg is pretty small- about 2.5 inches. Her beautiful colors have juuust started to come in with her last molt. She is currently in pre-molt.

Penelope: Brachypelma hamorii/Mexican Red Knee
Penelope was a total character when I first got her. She had a passion for flipping her water bowl. And then she dug a massive burrow (against the side of her enclosure- score!) and closed it up and spent two months in pre-molt and has just finally molted into a very colorful lady about 3.5 inches big. She’s quite shy still and I have only seen her out of her burrow one time post-molt.

Penelope before she went into pre-molt when I just got her.

Apricot: Brachypelma albiceps/Mexican Golden Red Rump
Apricot is three or four inches big, so she is at the size where you might think now that’s a big ass spider. Her species is thick, so she looks quite large. She is my star: she always greets me in the morning and is usually out and about in her enclosure. Very chill. Very gorgeous. She makes me smile. She’s so friendly and if she gets nervous scampers off in a very cute way.

Apricot watching the rain outside.

Amelia: Brachypelma boehmei/Mexican Fire Leg
Amelia is little- she is about 1.5 inches and is just starting to get her vivid coloring. This species of spider is known to be quite brave, inquisitive and fast moving, so she is definitely my trickiest spider when it comes to things like feeding her. She’s my only spider that will come at me instead of scampering away. Good times!

Amelia is usually hanging out near her burrow, but not in it.

Monday: Aphonopelma chalcodes/Arizona Blond (Payson)
Monday is a big lady at 4-5 inches and she is a spider who’s species is quite local to where I live here in Tucson. She is light tan in color and has a beautiful personality. Like Apricot, she can often be found lounging outside of her den. She is also the only tarantula I would feel okay with handling as she is that mellow. With her next molt, her legs will darken and she’ll be a bit more thick.

Monday going to town on some water. Hydration is important for her self-care.

Scarlet: Aphonopelma Gabeli/Chiricahuan Gray
A species known to be a quite feisty, Scarlet is my biggest spider at 5.5 inches or so. She is the size where most think “tarantula!!! EEEEP!!!” and run away lol- she’s large. She’s (for lack of a better word) a dark khaki color; kind of gray-green. She is very bold, only a little bit less so than Amelia. Gabeli are easily distinguished from other tarantulas by their extra long chelicerae.

A very unflattering photo of Scarlet- sorry girl!

The spiders are a unique part of my life, because I don’t really plan to make photos of them. Or share about them much. They’re special to me and I don’t want to disturb them from their lives. Jostling their enclosures or putting bright lights on them could create a very stressful situation for them. I have them because I love them, so definitely want to keep them calm.

Part of the appeal of keeping tarantulas for me is their very long lifespan- at least for female tarantulas, which all of mine are. These ladies generally live 20-40 years. Very little is actually known about tarantulas (for example, Scarlet’s species was only dicovered and named in 1995) and a lot factors play into how a spider ages. Based on size, I can safely assume Nutmeg, Penelope and Amelia are under 5 years old. Monday is most likely under 7 years old. Scarlet might be 8-10 years old. You can kind of gauge it by size and color, but raising from a spiderling and seeing each molt is really the only way to know true age. So I am in this for the long haul!

I liken observing spiders to bird watching. The effect of calmly observing animals is the same, regardless of what animals you observe. Trust me- I observe a lot of animals haha :) So I find it really peaceful, interesting and fun. Tarantulas live secret lives and getting to bear witness to those secrets is cool. Each tarantula is so different from the next.

Fun fact: when tarantulas eat they sometimes do a little happy dance, complete with wiggling their spinnerets!

In 2024 I plan to work with tarantulas extensively and I’m so grateful to be able to have my girls at home, who help me to better understand the unique species of the Southwest.

If you’re someone who isn’t a big fan of spiders, I would suggest spending a little time observing some. They are not very scary and I have seen so many folks crush their arachnophobia by simply taking a moment to watch what spiders actually get up to. They are fascinating creatures.

If you’re a keeper of spiders or have seen some tarantulas in the wild, I would love to know about your experience in the comments below!

Rural Life In The Mountains: Thoughts After Years Of Living Simple

For some time I have called one of the most rugged, snowy and rural parts of the country home. Nestled along Colorado’s southern border, I often felt like I lived in a secret world between Colorado and New Mexico. Pitch black skies, no neighbors, no running water unless I acquire water elsewhere and bring it home… there are a tremendous amount of activities and tasks I have lived by over the past many years that are normal to me. But as I prepare to move to Tucson, leaving my rural life as a more part-time thing, I find myself thinking constantly about how different life is about to become.

The other day I asked some of my friends a pretty simple question:
After living this way for this amount of time, especially after Covid-19 hit, which seems like it really changed city things, what do I need to know/keep in mind/what will I be surprised by/what do I need to get into the habit of? Basically I asked what have I completely fallen out of the loop of that will take me off guard.

The answers I got shook me. There is most certainly going to be a learning curve as I re-enter society.

Jon and I have lived in our tiny home on the side of a mountain for years. It is nearly impossible to imagine living somewhere else. Somewhere less quiet and private. Seems crazy.

“But you’ve been in Colorado! How different can it possibly be in rural Colorado than normal Colorado?!”

It’s all the way different. The culture of rural living is different. The culture of the southwest is also quite different from the culture of other parts of the west, such as central and northern Colorado. I cannot explain how different it is. I almost died from miscarriage complications due to our only hospital’s beliefs on who lives/who dies when a woman loses a baby. IN COLORADO. IN 2019. I did not have options living rural. Yes, even in a very pro-choice/women’s rights state.

I have one individual friend who moved from a rural/mountain life to a city life. She had lived rural in the mountains her whole life pretty much. This is one of the messages she sent me about what I need to know about city living.

“The pressure to dress/jewelry/makeup/haircare to fit in. Commuting/traffic/school zones. Depending on your schedule, how you feed yourself lunch and snacks. Routine for showering so you’re clean for public or work without running late. Laundry so you have clean clothes.”

— E.

I’m going to guess most of you do not need to remember these things. I’m going to guess they come as second nature. But let me tell you what! I wouldn’t have thought of most of this stuff. And I am so grateful for the reminders that these things even are things.

I mentioned before that unless I haul water from miles away and pump it into my cistern, I do not have running water. So anything water-based is not something I tend to think of much. It may seem gross to some, but I shower mayyybe once a week. Usually not quite that frequently. There is no need. I do laundry only after clothing is noticeably full of mud or smells so bad I notice it. I feel clean. I shower when I don’t. It’s mind blowing to me that people shower daily. Truly, such a waste of water. But I am recognizing I’ll need to shower for sure a couple times a week.

This is generally the scene outside by November.

On top of the anxiety of not really knowing what I’m getting myself into by moving to a city, I am really super excited. It’s a flurry of emotion running around my brain. Here are a few things I am unbelievably excited for:

• Running water that is piped in and doesn’t require anything

• Food options: grocery stores and restaurants

• Stores that are not Walmart or Tractor Supply

• Things to do that are nearby, such as museums and theater and whatever else all of you do

• Year-round hiking that does not require crampons or an ice axe or a 10-mile approach because a road is closed

• Nearby hiking: you might think living in the mountains means nearby hiking, but this isn’t always true. The San Juans are massive and most roads to the few trailheads are long. Hiking usually comes with 1-3hrs of driving down here. In Tucson, tons of hikes can be found within 10-45 minutes.

• Snow will not rule my life

• I will get to photograph landscapes I have dreamed of photographing

• Same for photographing wildlife and sharing their stories

• A big change of pace: sometimes that is such a healthy thing and that’s how I feel about this move

• I am a professional-level naturalist in mountain biomes and boreal biomes. I am an all-out rookie when it comes to desert biomes. I’ll be humbled again and again by nature down there and I think that’s a healthy thing too.

• With this move, I will need to be more social and I’m not mad about that :)

• We will be closer to so many places we’ve never explored. And exploring new-to-us places is something we value a lot. For example, I will get to see the Pacific Ocean with a simple 6-hour drive!

I am genuinely so curious to learn what this move will do for my creativity and creative output. Rural life is extremely hard work and with those stressors removed, I might find myself very freed up and more creative.

A very snow blanketed propane tank. Our home runs on propane, so we always have needed to be very mindful of our use because there is a three month window that propane can be delivered here. All other months our road is too sketchy for the propane company to deliver to us.

As Jon and I prepare to enter this new phase of our lives, I have so many thoughts about the life we are leaving. Not leaving… I don’t know the word for when you still call what you are leaving home. And I keep getting tangled in that. What do I call our home, when we are seeking out another place to call home. It’s bizarre to even write about. I would be lying to say there is not melancholy about the whole situation of moving. Because I do love this life and our home here.

I have been asked a lot why we are doing this and while I can talk about my photography projects and work and passion for the Sonoran Desert forever, this move was decided on after a final-straw event where Jon and I finally threw up our hands in exasperation. So much of life is knowing when to fight for it and when to move along.

The truth is that this region of the country is changing at break-neck speeds and it is almost impossible to find reliable or stable work. Making an income that is steady is pretty non-existent down here unless you are working in the medical field or extraction/construction, very lucky, “grandfathered in” or rich already. So yeah. A lot of this has come down to money. In a more populous part of the country, it’s a lot more simple to find financial stability. And I bet I’ll get some messages about how it’s a struggle in cities too. But let me make something beyond clear: it’s much harder to find and keep work in rural places where weather dictates everything. I promise.

I have done really well with my photography career and workshops, but in the snowy months here in the San Juans, I don’t make money from workshops because no one comes here and locations are too dangerous or challenging for me to bring clients to. The snowy months last from October to June. Soooo that’s a big problem.

I will not miss the racism, sexism, ignorance and hate that is rampant and loud here. These things exist everywhere. But here? It’s the norm. It’s the how it used to be idealized past. If you hear of folks saying things like don’t California our Colorado, it usually implies that that person feels vulnerable because they spew hateful views and don’t want to feel ashamed about it. A lot of places could use some “California-ing” down here, honestly.

After living this rural, tinyhome in the mountains life, I have learned it is the exact opposite of simple. And I now find it so silly when mountain life or tiny home life are described as simple. That’s marketing for you! Maybe they are if you’re on vacation. Maybe if you make $100k working remote without needing to rely on internet or LTE. But for most folks, this lifestyle is complex as it is beautiful.

As I wrap this piece up, I would like to focus on the beautiful aspects of this life we’ve lived. The stars are impossibly bright, twinkling just for us over our home. The deer and birds and foxes and other wildlife we love dearly… I will miss them as individuals I have had the honor of knowing for many years. I have witnessed generations. So many of these moments I can’t share. Because they were about feeling. There are no photos, only the life I have lived. So many moments that were surreal and perfect.

Ohhhh it all brings tears to my eyes. I am so grateful. I cannot believe that this has been my life. I can’t believe it. This was a dream of dreams. Something I thought was impossible, but I dreamed it anyways. It is so bittersweet to leave. But it is home and I can come back. And so I repeat that constantly to myself in moments of heavy panic: I can come back, I can come back, I can come back. This home is not going away, this home is not going away, this home is not going away. My mantras. My life vests.

I don’t know how to end this. So this is the end. Cheers to chasing dreams and living them and coming up with new dreams to live!

Wrapping Up 2023: Photography, Wildlife & Expeditions!

Goodbye to 2023!

What a year it was. A year of change, a year of magic and a year of tremendous growth and clarity. In my Wrapping Up 2022 post, I closed it with the following paragraph:
(regarding what 2023 had in store) I don’t quite know yet. I’m thinking about it and working on it :) But I think it’s going to be a pretty spectacular year. I know it will be a year of change. Change of what exactly? Who could say. I’ll still be working with amazing pikas and capturing the San Juan Mountains from the depths of its wilderness’. But if 2022 taught me one thing, it was balance. Making time to follow roads to nowhere, try new things and relax. To not take everything so seriously. And to be okay (or okay enough) with creative imperfection to feel free to create anything.

I try hard to do what I say I am going to do. And as we come to the end of the year, I can tell you that this year brought me the most change of any year in the past many years. Which says a lot, truly.

By the time autumn color was in peak display, I was so far down the tarantula rabbit-hole lol :)

This year I worked hard. Sought balance. Went deep into my mind, examining a lot of things about a lot of things. Creatively, I felt strong. I attended a journalism course and I stretched myself professionally. I met amazing friends and went on breathtaking adventures. Whirlwind trips that were so much fun. Always assessing how I felt, how my family felt. Thinking frequently about our dreams and goals.

In this post, I’d like to go through my year, going over some highs and some lows and some this and some that.

One of my favorite places that Jon and I visited this year was the Mojave Desert. It was breathtaking and varied. This image was made right off the highway to Joshua Tree, quite the scene, right? This area is stunning and I was completely dazzled by it. Prior to visiting I didn’t even have a slight suspicion of how I would fall in love with the Mojave.

Highs

Healing in the Southwest
From my Wrapping Up 2022 post: This winter I committed to working through what’s left of Healing in the Southwest. A project on loss, grief & healing. I reconnected with the deserts that healed me and have a renewed sense of creativity, hope and passion after immersing myself in the desert places I hadn’t been since my healing journey began years ago. Dare I say, this rediscovered energy has healed me further? It’s feeling like it has.

I did finish working through Healing in the Southwest. And I also had a successful Kickstarter campaign to have it published as a hardcover book. I was amazed and humbled by how many people showed up for me, pledging to my project and sharing it. I still cannot believe that this project came to such a gorgeous end.

In the winter and spring of 2023, I visited the Sonoran, Chihuahuan and Mojave Deserts to finish making the images I needed for my book and to seek out more healing energy; more time in these places. I had some of the most eye-opening, passionate moments of my life as I worked through my creative process and spent time with Jon in these desert places. 2023 gifted me travel and time. And when I called out to my community, 2023 was a year that supported my creative work and vision.

Wrapping up Healing in the Southwest left me… thinking. Maybe that’s not the right word for it. Maybe there isn’t a right word for it. I did not want to stop going to these extremely healing places for the simple reason that my project was complete. Yet I knew that would not be possible- not in the way I wanted. Because what I wanted was to always be going to the desert. I had changed dramatically over the years in those deserts. Because of them. I kind of went into a weird place, mentally, after I finished Healing, honestly.

Tarantulas!
For years I have wanted to go out to the Eastern Plains of Southern Colorado to capture and experience the Aphonopelma hentzi mating season. And this is the year I did it! And it was more spectacular than I imagined and I had so much fun. It stirred up a full-on passion in me creatively, professionally, personally, all of it.

I went tarantula-crazy and have not only adopted multiple species of tarantula since, but I also began my photography project Tarantula Jubilance and have pretty much decided that I will be trying really hard to capture the lives of wild tarantulas to tell their stories.

Obviously a big departure from my usual subjects :)

Friends and Family
In July my good friend Dan came out to visit and it was so lovely. I needed it! It was a blast. Living this rural life generally means I don’t get to see the majority of my friends really ever. It was phenomenal when Dan came out for some mountain adventures. Absolutely a highlight of my year.

And then Jon’s dad came out for a visit. That was really great too! We were able to show him around the region we call home and take him on the alpine loop, which was awesome of course.

In an effort to find balance, I went out of my way to be more social and to do more “normal life” kinds of things. Like going to a museum, for example.

This is the first list I have ever made where friends and famliy are named like this- so you know these experiences were powerful ones! They made me realize that I do need to be a little more social, even when I find that hard sometimes. It’s worth it to spend time with good people.

Lows

Tension.
We can all feel the tension of the world, right? Like, I don’t think I really need to elaborate? We all get it? Okay, cool. The tensions are high. In general.

Nicholas
A friend of mine died. Loss is never easy and Nicholas was a really good human and he died so young and it is so sad. People who knew him? We miss him. I will be very honest that I think about him constantly when I am making my tarantula images. He really encouraged me exploring that passion.

Advertising
Something that made me lose my mind this year was the absolutely mind-numbing amount of advertising. Every company, every business, everyone, even your mom’s friend Linda. Everything is for sale, everything is a sale. This contributes to those high tensions. Nothing feels pure. Everything is SEO. Nothing seems authentic. Think those reviews are honest? The brand paid for them to be good. On and on. I am totally checked out and have decided I will not be promoting brands any longer, even the ones I like most. I am not a sales tool for companies, regardless of how trendy that is. It’s become kind of slimy.

I packed a cake into the alpine to celebrate how much I love it and to say goodbye for a while. The alpine has been home for so long.

My Patrons supported my work this year in a multitude of ways that helped me to get work done, accomplish goals, advance my career and stay motivated. And let’s be honest: sometimes play the role of therapist ;) I could not do this without my crew and I appreciate you all dearly.

These are some of my favorite images I made this year.

Some of my favorite trips from 2023

• Organ Pipe Cactus National Monument
  This really is one of the most special places I have found myself in. I don’t know what exactly it is about this park, but I click with it on like, a spiritual level that I have only ever felt about two parts of the Rockies. So I really treasure it and hold it in a sacred place of my heart.

• Flagstaff
  In 2023 Jon and I went to Flagstaff three or four times and each time we were very pleasantly surprised by how much we enjoyed it. Whether going to incredible parks to see ruins or visiting one of the amazing hiking trails, Flagstaff is quickly becoming a spot we like to be :)

• Mojave National Preserve
  As it turns out, I really love the Mojave Desert and out of all the places I explored in it, the National Preserve really was something else. The scale of it, the brutality of it, the life calling it home. Simply awesome.

What’s 2024 All About?

The Sonoran Desert. And of course, seeking out balance.
2024 is likely going to be one of the most unique years of my life, Jon’s life, our life. Full of dream-chasing and figuring things out. Hard work and dedication to the dream. I’ll certainly be writing more about this in future posts.
deep breath!
…
…
We are moving to Tucson.

Happy December, everyone. 2023… it’s been real.

November: Petrified Forest National Park

This November on a whirlwind trip to Flagstaff, I made time to spend a day at one of my favorite National Parks: Petrified Forest NP. To make this little trip even better, autumn color was popping in the Painted Desert… something I have always wanted to capture!

If you haven’t been to PFNP, it is in Arizona, near the town of Holbrook. The park is more or less divided into two sections because of highway 40. If you enter north of the highway, you can take a super beautiful drive through the park, complete with a highway overpass. If you enter the park south of the highway, you will be in some of the most colorful parts of the park with the option to do some little walks along well maintained, paved trails.

On this trip, I entered from north of the highway and did the drive, stopping at the southern end to do some walks. I tried to take in as much as possible while sticking to my packed schedule.

My goal was to make to some pretty photos. Nothing more, nothing less. The last time I was there, I noted some images I wanted to make if lighting was good on my next visit, which it was! So I knew exactly where I wanted to go and the exact petrified wood I wanted to capture.

I believe my last visit to this park was in March of this year. So a November visit was considerably different. It was slightly busier with humans than in March and it was more colorful with pops of yellow leaves and some wildflowers still hanging on the warm afternoons.

The vibrant pink hues are my favorite part of this park. They’re a testament to the surrealism of the painted desert, creating a spectacle that is both breathtaking and awe-inspiring. I always try to capture the array of pinks and I did the same on this trip.

There is just something about this landscape that captures my imagination. While I was there this time, I was already planning photos I need to make on my next trip to the area!

In 2024 I will be having an expedition in this area, where I intend to track and make photos of wildlife who call the Painted Desert home. This particular project/trip has been multiple years in the making!

Have you been to Petrified Forest National Park? If so, what was your favorite sight? :)

Moments Of Passion: 11

Welcome to the eleventh post in my series Moments Of Passion!

With this series, my aim is to look at special moments in my photography journey that motivated me to pursue my career and dedicate my life to capturing our planet’s majesty and wonder.

We all have experiences that influence the trajectory of our lives. Every single post in this series directly impacted mine. From beautiful moments, to exciting or scary ones, sad moments and moments that caused pain. They’re all important. And I’d like to share some of these moments with all of you.

For a few years I have made a point to spend time looking for wild tarantulas on my property during tarantula mating season, which is typically in October here. It’s become something I really look forward to and this year, I decided it was time to kick it up a notch by heading out to Comanche National Grassland to try my luck at finding male tarantulas out looking for love. Comanche National Grassland is the most bustling t-spotting areas in Colorado. Bustling with T’s that is!

On the first evening of this Eastern Plains adventure, I had a good deal of luck with a few tarantulas and it got me beyond excited for the following evening, feeling like I had a much firmer grasp on how to find these eight legged friends.

Evening two came and so did all the luck! I spent a solid handful of hours in tarantula heaven. And the image I am sharing here is the final image I created that day. I (from a good-for-spiders-distance) followed this buddy as he made his way from scrubby lands to a road, to another road, to these train tracks. Once he was up on the track, he stayed the course, heading east. I created this image and left him to it! Wishing him a lot of luck on this most epic journey.

So other than being a lovely time, this was also a very life changing time for me. Over many years I have chipped away at the parts of myself that don’t serve me or that I find to be more of a mask than authentically me. And spending time in the grasslands looking for spiders chipped off a huge chunk of something that was weighing me down for a long time and helped me to realize that I don’t just like tarantulas- I am really super passionate about them. On the same level of pikas and alpine friends.

When I arrived home after making this image, I felt very blue that I would need to wait likely another year before I’d be able to spend time with tarantulas again. And then a thought struck me…

I could like. Buy some tarantulas. And then have some tarantulas. Animal husbandry is something I have always been passionate about, but my life has prevented me from being able to keep animals, especially because of my big anti-animal dog, Bivy. But spiders seemed like a very doable pet, needing very little in the ways of care.

As I type this I am a proud tarantula queen, with four little ladies to care for. These small friends will likely be with me for more than a couple decades. Maybe 3+ decades. They are part of the family. And they have already enriched my life more than words can express.

I would not have expanded our family if not for the experience I had tracking down tarantulas in the Comanche Grasslands. I would not have recognized this passion for what it is. It likely would have been left unexpressed- which feels very bad. To feel something needs to be expressed but being unable to do so. This image for this moment of passion is a visual representation of accepting a truth and embracing my weird. And for those reasons, this photo is extremely meaningful to me. I find this photo beautiful and interesting and sad in that way a full life coming to an end can be quite sad.

Out of all the moments of passion I have shared, this one is the most recent, which is special to me. Knowing I have just experienced such a big shift in myself.

October 2023

Somehow it’s a week into November.
October feels like it was a fever dream from years ago.

October was a whirlwind of falling leaves and crisp air; a month where time seemed to spin in dizzying circles. The days were fleeting, with vibrant foliage transforming the world into a snowglobe of gold leaves. October danced by in a blur, leaving me catching up with life in the first days of November.

Autumn began with snow. This image was captured on a very cold morning at 13,000ft. This day officially marked the end of wildflower season 2023 :)

As November begins, I feel a noticeable shift in the air. The once vibrant and bustling energy of summer and autumn begins to fade away, making room for the quiet and contemplative nature of winter. It's as if the world around me takes a collective breath, exhaling the frenetic pace of life that defined the previous months.

With the world slowing down, the days growing short, I too find myself embracing the opportunity to pause and recharge. The days grow colder, urging me to seek comfort in the simplest of pleasures.

Spooky Season rolling in with the low clouds. I captured this scene from 12,600ft looking down and across a massive drainage. Visibility came and went as the clouds danced their autumn dance.

As the cozy mornings by the fire beckon and the cold winds caress my cheeks, I welcome November as an old friend. This year I will be putting in more effort to embrace the stillness, to find comfort in the peacefulness of winter, and to allow myself the space to breathe and reflect.

As we enter the winter season, I can't help but feel that many folks are experiencing a similar sentiment. The past few years have been oddly paced and filled with constant... well, everything kind of. So we must slow down when the temperatures plummet. Winter provides us with an opportunity to reconnect with ourselves, our loved ones, and the beauty of the world around us.

To begin that process of getting ready to slow down, I thought it was a good time to share some photos I made this autumn. Maybe write a bit about some of them. I certainly am not totally caught up with going through photos in Lightroom, but from what I have gone through, these are my favorites!

The two images above are two of my favorites because they’re a bit more casual and personal. Jon snapped this portrait of me and I really love it. I have been dealing with a lot of changes this autumn and I feel that this image captures a bit of that feeling and I love my tarantula gear! I adopted four tarantulas this autumn. Yep. I have enjoyed my time with wild tarantulas so much over the years that I decided to enrich my habitat by adding some spiders to it. They are fascinating and I love them.

The image of the cake-on-alpine-tundra is from a very real moment. I decided to have a little celebration to say goodbye/thank you/see you in 2024 to a specific location- because I will not see it again until next spring (hopefully!) or summer. It was a symbolic ode to my passion for the alpine. And a spot that gave me unreal levels of joy this autumn when I needed that.

This image is one I have wanted to capture for a couple years- never finding the exact right composition. When I found this tree from the ground, I thought it might be perfect for what I had in mind… it looked like a rainbow from the ground! So I popped my drone up and was delighted to see that it was also a rainbow from above, set off by a snow-splashed talus field.

My goals for pika photography this season were mainly to capture pika in their seasonal landscapes. I worked hard to find varied scenes in different micro-biomes. I have so many days worth of pika photography to go through still haha :)

I focused on alpine wildlife this autumn and had some super blessed days with weasels, ptarmigan and other small critters.

This image is rather personal to me, one I would call my heart as a photograph.

I began shooting macro this autumn, as I have taken up spiders as a more regular subject. I have really enjoyed learning this new art. I was able to capture portraits of a Carolina wolf spider, tarantula mating season and autumn color in such wonderful ways because of my new lens. Sometimes new gear really does open a new world.

One of my greatest wishes of the season was to find a stick bug and create a gorgeous image of a stick bug with autumn color. These gentle bugs are an animal I find most easily in the fall. My wish came true when Jon found the friend below on one of his bike tires. I safely removed it and placed it on some aspen leaves where it would be safe or wander back to the tire.

A stick bug for an autumn wish?! Always :)

I was able to find ptarmigan in pre-snow autumn and then in snowy-autumn. With feathers to match. This is always a goal of mine and this year it could not have worked out more perfect. I love time spent with these birds, they are my favorite. So gentle and sweet and full of personality.

I also found ptarmigan in full-white, winter snowpack conditions. I have not gone through those photos yet, but it truly was a magical time being at 12,300ft with a family of white ptarmigan on a blanket of glittering snow.

Snow and ice whipped constantly in the subalpine this autumn, creating a harsh and haunting scene where the treelines thin.

This autumn has been an extraordinary season of change, growth, and a profound appreciation of home. As nature's vibrant colors gracefully painted the landscapes, my life also took on new hues. I embraced the transformative energy that came with the falling leaves, and like the trees shedding their old foliage, I have let go of what no longer serves me.

Amidst this whirlwind, I found solace in the embrace of my home, getting it ready for winter and adding cozy touches I wished I had done in previous years. Home is a constant reminder of what truly matters. I have sunk into that more than ever it feels like. I’m not used to taking such care with winter prep and enriching my spaces. It has been almost meditative.

Another image I would call very self-portrait-esque. My feelings in composition. The technique used here is handheld ICM.

Regardless of where you find yourself this November, as autumn turns to winter, I hope you are able to slow down. In a world that constantly seeks our attention and pulls us in countless directions, it is essential to take time to embrace the beauty of the changing seasons and reconnect with ourselves. Whether you are surrounded by the vibrant colors of falling leaves or feel the crispness of the air turning colder, allow yourself the grace to pause and take it all in. By slowing down, we can find solace and rejuvenation, allowing us to fully appreciate the transition that is happening around us.

I don’t know what the rest of the year holds, but I know it will be beautiful.